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"Planet Schmanet, Janet" is a song from the musical productions of The Rocky Horror Show since 1973, from the 1975 movie, from the 2015 tribute production celebrating 40 years, and from the 2016 reimagining movie. It was composed by Richard O'Brien with musical arrangements by Richard Hartley. Along with other several songs, this is not included in the 2010 Glee Cast Recording.

This song is not included in the 1973 Original London Cast recording because the album was recorded before "Charles Atlas Song", "Charles Atlas Song (Reprise)", "Eddie's Teddy", and "Planet Schmanet, Janet" were added to the show. Nonetheless, these songs were written in 1972 just as the rest of the music.

For unknown reasons this song is not included in the 1975 Movie Cast Recording (but it is included in the movie). It is also not included in the 2010 Glee Cast Recording and it was deleted from the episode but appears as an extra in the DVD.

Lyrics (Original 1973)

Frank-N-Furter:
Ok, it's startime
Riff Raff set the sonic transducer on
Programme 8, secure all levels at zero

Magenta:
Relax!

Dr. Scott:
You won't find earth people quite the easy mark that
you imagine - this sonic transducer! It is I suppose
some type of audio vibratory physiomolecular transport device!

Frank-N-Furter:
You better believe it, baby

Brad:
You mean...?

Dr. Scott:
Yes, Brad - it's something we ourselves have been
working on. But it seems our friend here has found
a way of perfecting it - a device that is capable of
breaking down solid matter and then projecting it
through space and who knows, perhaps even time itself.

Janet:
You're going to send us to another planet?

Frank-N-Furter:
Planet - Shmanet Janet
Tell you once, won't tell you twice
You'd better wise up Janet Weiss
Y'apple pie, don't taste too nice
You'd better wise up Janet Weiss

I've laid the seed, it should be all you need
You're as sensual as a pencil
Wound up like an 'E' or first string
When we made it, did ja hear a bell ring?

Y' got a block. Take my advice
You'd better wise up Janet Weiss
The transducer will seduce ya

It's something you'll get used to
A mental mind-fuck can be nice

You'd better wise up Janet Weiss
You'd better wise up, build your thighs up
You'd better wise up

Narrator:
And then she cries out

Janet:
Stop!!

Frank-N-Furter:
Don't get hot and flustered
Use a bit of mustard

Brad, Janet, Dr. Scott, Rocky, Columbia, Riff Raff, and Magenta:
You're a hot dog
But you better not
Try to hurt her
Frank Furter

Janet, Dr. Scott, Rocky, Columbia, Riff Raff, and Magenta:
You're a hot dog
But you better not
Try to hurt her
Frank Furter

Janet, Rocky, Columbia, Riff Raff, and Magenta:
You're a hot dog
But you better not
Try to hurt her
Frank Furter

Janet, Columbia, Riff Raff, and Magenta:
You're a hot dog
But you better not
Try to hurt her
Frank Furter

Magenta:
You're a hot dog
But you better not
Try to hurt

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Projects
Musicals
The Rocky Horror ShowAmerican projectsAsian projectsAfrican projectsEuropean projectsAustralian projects

Movies
The Rocky Horror Picture ShowThe Rocky Horror Show LiveThe Rocky Horror Picture Show (2016)

Characters
Brad MajorsJanet WeissDr. Frank N FurterRiff RaffMagentaColumbia
Rocky HorrorEddieDr. Everett von ScottNarratorThe UsherettePhantoms
Albums
Original London Cast RecordingRoxy Cast RecordingAustralian Cast RecordingMovie Cast Recording
New Broadway Cast RecordingGlee Cast RecordingNew Movie Cast Recording
Songs
Science Fiction / Double FeatureDammit, JanetOver At the Frankenstein PlaceSweet Transvestite
Time WarpSword of DamoclesCharles Atlas SongHot PatootieCharles Atlas Song (Reprise)
Touch-a-Touch-a-Touch-a-Touch MeOnce In a WhileEddie's TeddyPlanet Schmanet, Janet
The Floor ShowRose Tint My WorldDon't Dream It, Be ItWild and Untamed Thing
I'm Going HomeSuperheroesScience Fiction / Double Feature (Reprise)
Pictures
Rocky Horror files sorted by character:
Brad MajorsJanet WeissDr. Frank-N-FurterRiff RaffMagentaColumbia
Rocky HorrorEddieDr. Everett von ScottNarratorThe UsherettePhantoms

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